Politics Sucks!!

It's been awhile since I wrote my last blog, and I suppose on some levels that's a good thing. It pretty much means that nothing has pissed me off! But I'm sure I'm not alone in how I feel about this particular issue...

Political Campaining and Politics in general...

Has anyone besides me noticed that our elections have turned from 'the best man for the job' to 'the lesser of the evils presented'? I sincerely doubt that this was the way our ancestors were thinking our democratic society would develop into!

This one does this or that. That one does not do this or that. Mudslinging abounds! Each one pointing out the other's faults and shortcomings and making light of their own, and vice versa. Political posturing at it's finest.

What a crock of crap!!

Is your mailbox full of flyers? Mine is. And after having read the first couple or three, my eyes kinda glazed over and I simply put them in the recycle bin. Why bother? It's all the same bullshit anyway??

I swear if they spent a third of the money that they do on advertising on making sure our kids had textbooks and learning materials then one of us parents might end up raising a worthy candidate for president. We might have one that isn't motivated by greed and what faction can further his own aims. We might have someone in there that cares about the economy as a whole instead of coddling the rich because they have the cash to buy the votes.

And it doesn't matter what candidate you consider, the story is still the same. They make promises to get the vote and then when elected, they find their hands are tied by either Congress or the House of Representatives on making any type of decision that might better the US as a whole. He becomes a figurehead, a face connected to a hand to sign on the dotted line. Sure he has the power to Veto... but in reality all that does is put him into the position of a parent trying to settle disputes between two or sometimes three squabbling children. What the hell can anyone accomplish in a position like that???!!! Any parent can tell you that it's like nailing jello to a tree to get anything done that you need to!

I say scrap the whole lot of them and start over with a majority vote from the American people. An enormous task, yes. But it's pretty clear that if we don't do something to drastically change the way things are going, then year after year all we are going to see is worse and worse choices. Personally I don't look forward to that kind of future, do you?

A future that is filled with choices of the lesser of two evils is not one that I'm looking forward, and it's certainly not one that I'm looking forward to turning my kids loose on. No matter what your political view, no matter what candidate you think is the best choice, can you honestly say that we're doing the right thing? Deep in your heart do you not have regrets?

I do.

And so do a larger majority of Americans who make the sarcastic comment of writing in 'Snoopy', 'Charlie Brown' or some other fictional character. But are they really any worse a choice??

So if this a widespread attitude about how fruitless our political choices are, what do we do? How do we make it a worthy choice again? What can this present generation do to secure the future choices for our children?

"You need to vote to make a difference."

I agree with voting. If you don't make a choice, you have no reason to bitch because someone else made the choice for you. But I have to say that I really don't want to because I don't agree with ANY of the choices on the ballot. I feel like my back is to the wall and I'm being pressed into a corner and forced to make a decision where I don't agree with ANY of the choices presented. The lesser of two evils.

And yet, I feel powerless to change this process. And it sucks!!

Frustrated in the mountains,

Dragonlady

Freedom of Self Expression

Kids these days! What can you do with them??

Self expression has become a passion near and dear to the hear of almost every teenager I know. But how much is healthy and where should we, as parents, draw the line until they are old enough to make their own decisions.

Simple stuff like odd colored hair and wild makeup are, in most respects, not a problem. Unless of course they happen to be looking for a job somewhere. I don't know about some of you, but I live in a small southern town where blue or green hair is going to be a major NO-GO factor for landing a job. Teenagers say, "Bunch of stuck up old foggies." and strike out for bigger parts when they get a refusal for employment.

But how much of that are we contributing to that attitude by allowing them to experiment on their hair and makeup without restraint?

I for one, think it's great that my daughter likes to dye her hair different colors. The blue and pink streaks she puts in it looks great on her and I don't see anything wrong with it. However, in her search for a job, she's found out that not everyone is as accepting as she'd have hoped. In fact, I think the major blow to her ego came and a wedding just recently where she was told that her hair in all it's blue glory was 'ugly and looked like shit'.

I was pissed. It hurt her feelings, it was uncalled for at the time, and the woman that said it had no regard for how she made my child feel. The rebel in me at the time almost went home and had her dye MY OWN hair blue just to make a point and dare her to say something to ME abou it. There would have been a fight and that would have been unwanted drama, so I stuffed down my ego and let it go. That didn't stop the fact that she was being an ass about the whole thing. I regret that I didn't, but I didn't. And I'll leave it at that.

But hair dye and makeup aside, when is it time for the parent to put their foot down and say no? And when does 'no' actually MEAN anything these days anyways? Odds are if you tell your kids no, you won't do it for them, then they're just going to go out and get an older friend or sibling to do it for them anyway, so it's a lose lose situation there. For the most part, my kids respect what I say and realize that there's usually a reason behind what I tell them I don't want them to do.

Granted sometimes I have to explain it and break it down into the basics. Compromise has been a wonderful thing in dealing with my kids though. I made a deal with them and I think it's something that most parents should think about. Piercings are ok, and if they get tired of them, they simply let them grow up. Gauging piercings is not because that, like a tattoo is going to be there forever. Hair grows back, grows out and can be recolored when it does, so hair dye is a non issue. Makeup washes off.

What brought this on you wonder? Well, a friend of my daughter's just came over to the house and she dyed his hair blond. It looked GREAT on him! And then they dyed it blue which would also look great on him. However, this kid, wonderful and smart as he is also lives with the woman that made the derogatory comment about my daughter's blue hair. It's not his mother, but she's taken him in and given him a home when he felt he had nowhere else to go.

I wondered what would happen when he went home with blue hair since she hated my daughter's hair so much that color. None of them had thought of that, so now they are in the process of removing the blue from his hair and once again making it blonde. Why? Just so he will still have a place to live and he doesn't have to hear her bitch.

I hate it for him because his self expression is now limited by the narrowmindedness of someone else. I guess though, since he's living in her house, she still has a right to tell him how to live. I regret that she's not more open minded about it though because all it's doing is driving a wedge between them that doesn't HAVE to be there.

But whatever, he's not my son or I'd let him have whatever color hair he wanted, as long as he was happy with it. But that's just me... I guess I'm the 'bad' parent in her book.

Whatever!

DragonLady

Absolutely TERRIFIED!!!!

Ever seen a spider so big that you seriously thought that it could eat a small bird?

I can HONESTLY say that I have now seen one. And to beat it all, it was SITTING IN THE MIDDLE OF MY BATHTUB!! NO, I am NOT kidding. I don't know where the thing came from and I don't care as long as the portal that brought Spiderzilla to this planet closed behind it!

Now don't get me wrong, regardless of how afraid of spiders you are, if you live anywhere in a rural area, you have to deal with them. Especially when the weather starts to cool off and they start looking for warmer places (usually inside the house) to spin a web to spend the winter in. I am absolutely terrified of the smallest of spiders. I can handle snakes (literally) and worms and things that are slimy and it doesn't bother me, but if it has six legs or more and skitters around making me THINK it's a spider... uh uh... no way... not this chick... watch my dust, I'm outta here! And if you're in my way, you're either going with me or moving real quick out of my way before I run you down. I've been known to mow down a 6'3" man built like a brick ... well, you know what I mean. I'm not sticking around to conversate with it!

Anyway, back to my unwelcome bathroom guest. To say that this was a big spider is an understatement, and I'm not just talking from fear here. I have seen wolf spiders who's legs can span a 4" door jamb with ease in the house. Yes, they scare the crap out of me. But this one... I swear it was the genetic mutation of one of those! Someone gave it some damn growth hormones or something. Maybe it ate a pesticide treated tomato or two... I don't know, but it had to span at LEAST 6 inches from leg tip to leg tip and that wasn't with it laying flat on its underside like they do when they're resting.

Yes, I know a little about arachnids. I always think it best to know your enemy as well as you can just in case they try some of their tricks to sneak up on you. and after learning about them, I like them even less. Some have eight eyes! One for each leg and THAT, my friends, is just unnatural! It ain't right!

Anyway, I was going to dye my hair to cover up the grey. Yeah, that nasty thing us older women have to deal with every six weeks or so, lol. Thank GOD I hadn't opened the dye yet, when I pushed back the curtain or Mister Spiderzilla would have likely gotten dye, activator, conditioner and gloves for his own personal use.

Instead, I screamed! The neighbors heard me, but no one else did. One kid had her headphones on, hubby was alseep, the other one had her nose stuck in a book and the third prodigeny was sleeping the day away after a late night last night. NO ONE HEARD ME!

Now I've been told that my decible level is illegal in a lot of the European countries when I hit full volumn. At least that's what a dear friend from Belgium told me once.

And no one heard me....

It would do me no good to pull the one from her headphones, she's as afraid of spiders as I am, and that includes all things 'icky'. The sleeping one... well, if she slept through my scream, I can now see how she sleeps through her alarm clock and is perpetually late. Hubby? ditto.

So I go and tap on my reader's door. She didn't hear the scream, but she heard my tap?? (Maybe the scream was supersonic? I mean the dogs did bark! But no one heard THAT either!)

After convincing her that she needed a big pan to hit it with, or maybe the rolling pin from the kitchen so she could use it as a cudgel in case she missed with the frying pan, we made our way (her in front of course) to the bathroom where it lurked.

And it was gone... just like the damn RAT the other morning... Spiderzilla was no longer in my tub.

The only explanation I can come up with is that it must have went into the crack between the baseboard and my tub and went under the house.

I'm setting off bug bombs in and under my house tomorrow. Mister Spider, if you're listening, you'd better pack your shit and get out cause Mama's coming and she's not a happy camper!

Dragon Lady

Mood: Frustrated

Ever have one of those days were everything you attempt to do is tied to a dozen other things that have to be done first? My goal today was to clean my house. Not an impossible goal you say... HAH... that's what YOU think.

My family, and I love them dearly, come from a long line of packrats. We save everything. My mother was raised in the depression era. (Yes, I was a late in life baby!) And there was never a thing that would go to waste when I was a kid. Old and broken toys could be fixed, pants could have rips and tears mended and there was never any need to throw away clothes that you might have outgrown because surely to GOD you would hear of someone having a housefire and those poor little kids would be JUST the right size to wear what you'd saved from last year.

And what makes it worse, I married a man from another family of packrats. He saves everything too! But he's not alone, I swear to the heaven's that saving things are in both of our genetics. I have a walk in closet that you cannot walk into because of 'stuff'. My biggest thing, I would have to say is computer parts.

No, I'm not talking about printers and the accessories. I'm talking about the guts... hard drives, cd drives, cabled, network cards, video cards, extra memory, motherboards... I had this great idea that I could build my own computer. And I did... and then people realized that I could 'do things' with computers, so I end up getting everyone's handme down computers or the one's that are too slow for what they want them for, or the one's that they simply got tired of and replaced.

In my living room alone, I have three working laptops, and two desktop computers. Which is great when hubby and I are gaming online and one of the kids needs to use a computer for homework and such. Only, we have only one kid in school now, so that kind of limits the rest of them. OH... and I forgot about the old perfectly working Windows95 Pony sitting under the desk that does ... erm... nothing? Collect dust? And they're all pretty good at that.

I'm no Martha Stewart and I never claimed to be, but lately my house has fallen into a state beyond even my satisfaction. You can't even SEE the top of my dining room table because of the amounts of collected dragon statues (my collection) and my daughter's pottery that she made in pottery class last year. It used to sit on a bookshelf until I moved the bookshelf to the hallway with the intention of getting the books into a more out of the way location. HAH.

Yes, the book shelf is in the hallway, but now it collects anything and everything that someone has in their hand as they walk by. The books are still on the one in the living room, never having been moved... because it's the one in the hallways is waiting to be anchored to the wall, which is waiting on my husband to find his 'Bullseye' level/studfinder thingy to find the right place to anchor it. And the Bullseye is....somewhere in the living room? Or maybe it's on the porch? Lord knows it's not in the tool bag where it's SUPPOSED to be!

I need a storage shed. I have been to Lowes three times to look at one and every time I think I will get it, I talk myself out of it. Why? Because I know as well as I am sitting here typing it that the storage shed will be filled to the roof and I STILL won't have room in my house to move! See, that's what happened with mom and dad too.

They have two houses. One is an old log cabin built around the turn of the century (last century, not this one) and it has three bedrooms. The upstairs has is about 40 feet by 15 feet... so there's a LOT of room up there... and it has a 12 by 12 bedroom on the back... all the rooms are so full that you can walk up the stairs and step onto the landing. Forget about going INTO the upstairs bedrooms because you can't, there are too many boxes. And downstairs there's room for the back bedroom door to open... that's it.

So they have that house full. And the house that dad lives in (mom passed away in 2005) is still almost as crowded as it was before she passed. (He collects stuff too, only his is 'useful' stuff! Go figure!)

Dad built a 'barn' storage shed for his outdoors equipment like mowers and rototillers and such, and then they got a horse and a cow, so the storage area turned into a barn. Well, they were only going to use half the attic for hay and the rest for storage. Then the barn nearly fell down. So they build another 'workshop' for my dad... now it's so full of stuff that you can't run the radial arm saw without moving two truckloads of lumber to get to it. And then he built a 'woodshed' so we'd stop storing wood in his workshop. Now it's full of who knows what.

Are you seeing the pattern here? See why I hesitate to buy a storage building? Dad keeps saying that we can build one cheaper and he has the materials, but he's also been saying that for three years at least and none of us have had either the motivation or the desire to put for the effort to gather everything and build it.

*sighs*

So... frustration aside, what did I do this morning? Grab a cup of coffee and sit down at the computer. Think my house will get cleaned?

Yeah, right!!

Dragon Lady

I am FURIOUS!!!!

Horribly enough, this is something that hits close to home and it pisses me off. Just like I think it should piss of every other human being on the planet that has a consciousness! It's a touchy subject, and no one likes to talk about it because when it hits close to home is it infuriating and frustrating that nothing will be done.

Rape.

Yeah, I said it. And before you ask, no I'm not going to tell you the details.

However, this is the situation. There are different kinds of rape. There's everything from violent assault to peer pressure (also called date rape). But not one of these are less traumatic for the victim in any way.

The fact of the matter that pisses me off is this... unless it's a violent assault where the victim fought back and there's a TON of physical evidence, there's little to no chance that there will be a conviction. It sucks, but it's a fact of our judicial system.

If the district attorney doesn't feel that they can win the case, they simply drop it. It doesn't mean that the rape didn't happen. It doesn't mean that the victim is no longer traumatized by the incident. There is no closure, not that closure can do much to aid how a victim feels about the situation.

But what it DOES do... and this is the pisser... is make the victim feel like the rape was their fault. Should they have fought back harder? Should they have screamed a little louder? Should they have been more careful about the position they put themselves in? ..... Should they have even bothered to report it?

Should they have even bothered....

The investigation of a rape is, in itself, a demoralizing and demeaning process.

At first you wonder if anyone believes you. You're look on with indifference at the initial report, and it often feels like they don't believe what you're saying. But investigators MUST distance themselves from the emotional aspect of the crime to have an objective view in order to gather all the evidence. It's understandable because we are all ruled by human emotions, and it can sometimes cloud our judgement.

Fine, I get that...

The physical examination for evidence is no cakewalk either. Any of you women that have ever had a pap smear know what I'm talking about. Only it doesn't stop at that. They must take pictures of all bruises, cuts, lascerations, etc. Ever had your whole body examined and photographed? It's embarassing!!! But, it has to be done, and we survive it. And no amount of justification makes it any less demeaning!

So we manage to survive the interrogation and physical examination. Then comes the waiting game. We give them our clothes we wore for evidence and anything else we can think of. They talk to the first person we speak with after the event just to verify our story.

If there's enough evidence, we get a call to talk to the district attorney and he/she explains exactly how the judical process will take place. Odds are if the district attorney meets with you, there's enough evidence to take the case, and they think they can win it and get a conviction.

However, the flip side of the coin is what is the real issue we need to examine. We've gone through the investigation, we've gone through the physical exam... but there's not enough evidence to support the case.

So now what?

Nothing... no recourse except to go through counselling or possibly self-defense classes. An even stronger confirmation that it was 'your fault' this happened. 'Your fault' because you didn't know how to protect yourself.

And given that whole scenario turning to crap in the proverbial basket... the victim now feel that it's 'her fault' and she put herself through all the embarassing and demeaning investigation onto to be told "sorry, there's not enough evidence to press the case. The district attorney said so."

Does anyone really think that after going through that HELL, any woman is going to risk reporting a rape again? Do you think they will feel any type of trust in our judicial system anymore because of this?

Who's fault is it really? Not the victim's. Not the police investigators, they did their job. Not the doctors, if they did the correct examinations and documentations.

The rapist? The one who gets away with the violent crime and pays no price for it?

Yeah, right! Kinda makes you wish for the good old days where old fashioned, wild west justice could at least make you feel like SOMETHING was done about the situation!

Furious in the Mountains

Dragon Lady

Back to School

Well, it's that time of year again when the big yellow busses start touring our roads delivering the youth of America to and from our illustrious public (or private) school system. What a happy and yet sad day for all of us parents!

Never let it be said that I don't love or appreciate my children, but I have say that a large part of me is relieved when I see them take that first ride to school again... even with the kicking and screaming it took to get me out of bed to assist! Peace and quiet in the house during the day. Husband driving errands for a family friend... even the dogs are lazing about in the sun outside and there are no sounds of puppy squabbles in the yard.

*sigh*

And then I realize it's too quiet. I can hear something scratching. No... I swear I heard it... turned off the air conditioner to listen more closely....

THERE IT GOES AGAIN...

It sounds like it's in the kitchen, so I grab a broom and stealth to the sink...

Silence.

I stand there for a good two minutes, just waiting to hear the noise again, but there's nothing to be heard. Giving up, but not convinced that my house is not possessed, I leave the broom by the kitchen door and walk back to my laptop and recliner.

No sooner do I get seated and comfortable than I hear the scratching again over my tap tap tap of the keys on the keyboard. Once more I sneak into the kitchen, less successfully this time as I tripped over the portable steam cleaner sitting by the doorway.

The scratching was coming from my lower cabinet by the sink, so I brace myself, broom at ready (Harry Potter would have been proud!) and flung open the door....

to find the biggest, black rat I have EVER seen in my entire life!

I screamed!

It screamed!

And ran off under the refrigerator...

By the time my husband got home, I had pulled everything in the kitchen out from the walls in search of the black demon.

That was day before yesterday... and I've not slept soundly since then... I know he's out there... somewhere.... watching me... just waiting to jump out and scare me again...

But I have to admit that it's not as bad as it could have been if it had been a spider!

Shudders in the Mountains!

Dragon Lady

Driver's License Delima...

I have thre daughters. Two of which are teenagers and the third that might as well be even though she's passed those specific years by a few extra years. As the parent of a teenager in North Carolina, I have discovered a delima with the driver's license bureau, and I'm certain that many of you may have noticed this too with your own children.

In NC you must have a license to have insurance, and you must have insurance to have a license. The resolution of this is that when you pass your driver's education class you are then put on your parent's insurance for the term of your learner's permit. In our state, that's a year, or until the date of your sixteenth birthday, or in the case of my oldest girl, a later birthday because you didn't want to learn to drive on your sixteenth...

I guess when I was a kid it was easier to learn to drive. I took driver's ed the summer I was 15 and the day after my sixteenth birthday, I took my driving test and had my license. I don't recall having to take a 200 question test at the end of driver's ed. And I don't recall having to drive more than twice with the driver's ed teacher in the car. But now days, that's what our kids have to do.

One of my daughters has trouble taking tests. She stresses, she panics and she freezes up when she reads the questions... and yet they will NOT allow her the option of taking the test verbally. Other kids in her class have admitted to taking this long test and answering the questions by 'christmas tree' or ACDC. Which is to say that they simply make patterns out of the dots for the answers instead of actually answering the questions... AND THEY PASS!!

I don't know about you, but that scares me! Kids faking the answers to the tests and getting a passing score because the test is so long that the can't possibly pass it without at least some guesswork?? What happened to taking the good ole 20 question test like the REAL thing and then if you fail you know what to study and try again. As it stands, the kids aren't even told what it is that they messed up on... they have to simply study more and try again next time.

And if you mess up on the driving part of it you have to go all the way back and start over again. Not just the driving part, the whole damn thing! Another day or two out of regular classwork, another shot at a 200 question test and then hope like hell you don't screw up something on the driving part again. By the time the kid gets behind the wheel they are either so overloaded with information that they forget half of it or give up before they even get their license because it's just too much to ask!

People say that repitition is the way to learn something, but I think that there's a limit to that process. Wouldn't it be better to know the subject matter you're taking the test on instead of the pattern of the answers? Wouldn't it be better for the driver's education teacher to TEACH and explain how a vehicle works and what the laws of the road are instead of just handing out a book that reads like stereo instructions. And having the kids watch horrifying movies that scare you of what might happen if you screw up on the road? They watch fictional horror movies worse than any 'Death on the Highway' film out there! Do you really think that scares them?? It's all movies, and believe me, they've seen worse!

Yes, we are taking a risk to teach our kids to drive. We are putting them behind the wheel of a two ton chunk of metal and hoping like hell that they don't speed, don't break the law and don't kill themselves or someone else in the process of getting from point a to point b... but wouldn't that be better done if they were TAUGHT in class rather than just expected to read a book, watch a few films and answer a set of questions so long that their eyes glaze over before they reach the end?

Making sure they know the rules of the road is a must. Making sure they know how to be safe in the vehicle is a must. But there's a fine line between giving them the information they can use and giving them so much information that they forget a good majority of it when they get behind the wheel.

My suggestion... lower the number of questions on the test and make them worth more points. Stop trying to put the driver's education test on the same bell curve as the rest of the school's tests and start teaching our kids how to drive instead of expecting them to memorize a set of stereo instructions from a book that loses their attention half way through.

Parents take the time to talk with your kids and teach them how to drive. Hell, take them out in a cornfield and let them learn what the vehicle can do. A school parking lot in the middle of summer time (if the principal will allow) is a perfect place to learn, but it will take the help of parents doing their job to get the point across.

Schools, lower the number of questions on the test and focus on the things that really matter, like the rules of the road. Teach the kids what they need to know by hiring a teacher that is willing to TEACH them about the vehicle. Better still, give the students the opportunity to understand how the vehicle works. Hold an automechanics class for new drivers. Tire pressure, fueling, checking the oil, how and where to pull over safely. If nothing else, talk to the local police and have someone come in and explain the rulse of the road from their point of view. Take teaching back to basics and TEACH for a change instead of handing the kids a book and expecting them to read it an understand without any help at all.

And last but not least. Insurance companies... get off you greedy marketing strategies and give us parents a break. If you want responsible drivers on the road, stop making it so hard for us parents to give you that with your price gouging. There's no excuse for it, statistically speaking, you know that you're wrong.

And that's my rant for the day....

Dragon Lady